Last email from the MTC!

 Wow! It's so hard to describe how I feel right now! But you know me, and knowing that today is the eve of one of the most momentous days of my life, you would think I'd be really nervous wouldn't you? Well... my response might be different tonight when I'm laying in bed, but the Lord is really blessing me right now. He knows that I tend to worry, and although worrying has it's purposes, He's keeping me at ease right now. Tomorrow! It starts! I'm so excited! I have so much to learn! So much to do! So much to fail at and succeed at! Let's get it started!

Talking to you on the phone was such an awesome blessing. I was actually really nervous about that phone call haha. It was a very fast 5 minutes. I'm sorry for hogging all of it, I barely got to hear your voices haha. There were four of us at the pay phones and even though there were 3 phones, we went one at a time because it was just so exciting, even for the people that weren't on the phone. It's amazing how things change when you've spent 2 months in the MTC. That might have been the first time I've ever used a pay phone actually...

Even though I'm feeling okay now, I've been a little scared and worried the past few days. That should be no surprise. But it's amazing how the Lord works. Just like you said Mom, Sometimes He steps in and changes our circumstances, but sometimes He steps in and changes our hearts. But I know, I know, that He ALWAYS does what is best for us. It makes me wonder what kind of miracles and changes He could work with me if I would just stop fighting Him and start trusting Him. It's something I'm working on.

When I was talking to my teacher (His name is Irmao Peterson, he's from Pueblo, CO, served in Mozambique, just for some background) he also reminded me of something. He said that we are "given" weaknesses. Of course, we learn this in Ether too, but it really sunk in a little bit more the other day when he said it. We are "given" weaknesses. That means that weaknesses have purposes. If they didn't, they wouldn't be given. That's the truth. The MTC has taught me a lot, but it's quite possible that it taught me the most about me, and how much I have to change. To be the kind of Missionary that the Lord needs and wants, I have to be a man. I'm still a boy. He needs a man. He needs someone who is humble and who has faith. He needs me to change. I hope it happens, and I hope it happens soon, because the sooner that I change, the sooner that I can be an instrument in His hands. That's what I want, because it comes down to this, is the Gospel true? Just like that one talk, "It's true, isn't it? Then what else matters?" I know it's true. I'm still "walking by faith", but I know it's true. What else matters?

There is work to be done. Work in Santa Maria, and more immediately, in the Great Salt Lake. There's work in Spokane too. Don't be afraid to open your mouth. Fear is something I continue to struggle with all the time. I might not know a lot, but I know enough. I know it's true. I might not be the best at talking to people about the Gospel and helping them come unto Christ, but this is what I've been prepared, trained, and CALLED to do. He's called me. He wants me to serve Him, and He knows I have weaknesses. He's the one who gave them to me. But He's promised me, and you, and every one of His children, that if we humble ourselves before Him, weaknesses can become strengths. I'm looking forward to that.

Family, I love you. Stay strong. It's true. I hope to have good stories next week from SLC.